Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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