dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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