you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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