Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize