i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
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Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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