I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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