best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
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We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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