Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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