i permit you to call me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize