Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
why is half of my head shaved?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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