Yo dont text me then not text me
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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