Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
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Ketchup is God's man juice
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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