That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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