Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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