STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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