Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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