how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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