john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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