I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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