I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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