What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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