Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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