Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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