i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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