grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize