Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize