you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
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He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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