Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize