I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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