I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
my poor anus
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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