Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize