It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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