Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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