Small penises have feelings too.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize