I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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