Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.

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  (814): I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible. http://tfl.nu/rjoz
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and the officer said have you been drinking

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and i said NOO SIR.

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and he said, I am a woman.

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  (864): and the officer said have you been drinking (864): and i said NOO SIR. (864): and he said, I am a woman. http://tfl.nu/8g3i
  Replies (19) Good night (1842) Bad night (6761)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.

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  (612): Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery. http://tfl.nu/hvee
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.

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  (908): I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain. http://tfl.nu/vwtj
  Replies (51) Good night (25355) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.

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  (608): he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily. http://tfl.nu/l76l
  Replies (40) Good night (4036) Bad night (4660) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins

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  (856): are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins http://tfl.nu/byok
  Replies (16) Good night (3655) Bad night (1088) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.

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  (714): we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career. http://tfl.nu/cw5m
  Replies (18) Good night (689) Bad night (3668) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .

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  (502): Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely . http://tfl.nu/di6d
  Replies (18) Good night (4325) Bad night (1486) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time

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  (401): Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time http://tfl.nu/icsx
  Replies (15) Good night (3911) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.

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  (607): I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson. http://tfl.nu/gvkr
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.

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  (724): Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours. http://tfl.nu/4ug0
  Replies (1) Good night (2194) Bad night (690)
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  (209): View more from California

  His new job just became new places to have sex at.

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  (209): His new job just became new places to have sex at. http://tfl.nu/ezs0
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  (315): View more from New York

  My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.

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  (315): My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off. http://tfl.nu/m48w
  Replies (7) Good night (2401) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (+39): View more from

  scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer

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  (+39): scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer http://tfl.nu/n0yh
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.

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  (978): I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again. http://tfl.nu/29ts
  Replies (6) Good night (457) Bad night (170) Order T-Shirt

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