Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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