My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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