Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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