just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs speak an international language.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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