At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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