I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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