i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
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stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
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Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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