As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
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I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
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I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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