I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize