the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize