We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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