Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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