i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize