I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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