i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize