Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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